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September, 2008
Dear Dr. Sorensen,

I am a mother who lives in, Italy. I recently read your book "Breaking The Chains of Low Self-Esteem" and...it's me!

I always knew it that but I think I was never consciuos about it. Now I am and believe me, it's terrible. What makes me feel extremely bad is that I am poor with relationships, to tell the truth I don't think I am able to have a deep and intimate relationship with anyone, not with my mother, or my sister not with ex-husband who left me or friends that I have and had only as a consequence of frequentation at school or work: in fact these are the only places where I established relationship..I think because I always studied a lot and worked hard and this part of my personality seems to have left/leave a good impression in people around me in those places (works/school). I consider myself as a boring person who is not able to have fun....rigidity is the focus thing about me. Life without human relationship does not deserve to be lived, it is a cold life but I do not know how have the life I wish...every attempt I make to establish one fails, so I started to avoid. I tried therapy 3 years ago. I went to 2 different therapists but I found no way to improve myself and I felt hopeless.

I believe I have personality desease called "avoiding", since I avoid people and relationship because I think I am not able to manage them, fear and axiety is always there and have no skills of conversation. I do not know if you can understand the situation of embarassment of not knowing what to say..I think you do, but believe me I feel it always whenever I am near someone. And this makes me feel depressed. Anyway, everything you mention in your books matches perfectly with me. Nobody has never understood my situation.

I feel extremely depressed. Life cannot be lived in this way. I know that it is difficult to understand the real problems of a person only through emails but what I would like to have is an HOPE that my life can be normal. And that my daughter's life can be normal, full of happiness (and sometimes sad things too, I know, it is how life goes), but living with emotions, with deep relationship, with laughters, not like me with fear..

I feel you can understand my situation. I am aware I need to acquire skills I do not have, even if these are the basic skills that each person automatically acquires growing, but I did not get them. So I think now I have to learn, I feel like a baby who has to learn skills which should be natural, but I am 35 years old and I know it will not be easy and fast as it is for a baby. I also want to read all your books, and i am sure I will do that but this is not enough, and I think you can agree with me. I accept every suggestion you can give me: I know you understand my situation and I trust in your suggestions.

R. from Italy

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