Breaking The Chain of Low Self Esteem: Second Edition
- "The new bible of self-esteem, a classic," says Robert
Lubow, M.D. psychiatrist, Cincinnati, Ohio.
- "The best book ever written on self-esteem," says Sandra
K. Pinches, Ph.D., psychologist, Portland, Oregon.
- "Highly recommended." The Midwest Book Review
Low Self-Esteem is a Normal Reaction to an Abnormal Childhood.
Dr. Sorensen believes the following about low self-esteem:
- Low self-esteem is actually a thinking disorder in which an individual views himself as inadequate, unworthy, unlovable, and/or incompetent. Once formed, this negative view of self permeates every thought, producing faulty assumptions and ongoing self-defeating behavior.
- Low self-esteem should be included in the diagnostic manual (that is utilized by all therapists to determine diagnoses). Instead, it is frequently mentioned as a symptom of many other disorders, which is backwards: low self-esteem is the disorder, not merely the symptom.
- Low self-esteem always forms in childhood, when an individual is developing his initial view of himself and his attributes. Once formed, low self esteem cannot be overcome without going through a recovery process.
- A person cannot merely "raise" one's low self-esteem and transform it into healthy self-esteem. Instead a person has to learn to alter his basic view of self and transform his thinking and attitudes, which is not a simple process or a quick fix.
- Low self-esteem is a serious disorder that affects millions of people--both men and women--destroying their relationships, paralyzing them with fear, and creating lives that will never reach their full potential, leaving them off balance, needy, and unfulfilled.
- Unfortunately, like the general public, most therapists are misinformed about low self-esteem and it's consequences and therefore, don't know how to treat it. Many people go to therapy for this issue and leave feeling hopeless about their lives and disillusioned about therapy.
Books by Dr. Marilyn J Sorensen:
Available in either paperback or ebooks.
Order ebooks now.
Order books in paperback now.
Want to start reading today? Download your copy of the new e-book versions of:
Do you have questions about your Download Version order? click here
Wonder if you have low self esteem?
Click on the graphic at the left to take the interactive Sorensen Self Esteem Test and learn your score! (Adobe Acrobat Reader necessary to view PDF.)
Marie from Scotland
Why aren't more Therapists trained in the aspect low self esteem as it relates to mental health? Everything Sorensen says, makes perfect sense. I have never read a book which offers such insight into specific emotional problems. Sorensen's experience and insights "blew me away." Her insights at times seem more of a "telepathic nature," than that of a therapist. This woman could very easily "re-write" the whole therapeutic approach. So many more people would benefit, if she did!!
Once low self-esteem is formed, it can only be overcome
through a process of recovery. Dr. Sorensen has developed the only
known program to do that--one that is extremely effective
and is spelled out through the three books above.
Dr. Sorensen has made it her life's goal to observe
and study low self-esteem. As a result, she has been able to recognize
the causes, the symptoms, and the self-defeating patterns common to all
low self esteem sufferers.
Reading her books will enable you to understand:
- How and when low self-esteem develops
- The specific symptoms that accompany low self-esteem
- The wholly misunderstood "self-esteem
attacks"
- The depth of fear and anxiety that low self esteem sufferers
experience
- The patterns of self-defeating behavior that accompany low
self esteem
- The devastatingly emotional turmoil caused by low self esteem
- The negative and irrational thinking patterns of those who
have low self esteem
- The ways in which low self esteem creates chaos in--and even
destroys--relationships
- The overall severity of low self esteem and how it stifles creativity, curtails ambition, kills dreams, and often promotes a sense of hopelessness and helplessness
Self-Esteem, Misunderstood
and Trivialized by Society
If you suffer from low self esteem you have likely felt embarrassment
due to the negative way in which others have responded
to behaviors that result from your low self esteem. You may
have heard such comments as "Just
get over it" or "You're just too sensitive," comments that
show the misunderstanding of society about low self esteem.
The truth is that those who have low self-esteem didn't
cause it, don't want to have it, but are powerless to change
how they feel without going through a process of recovery.
Unfortunately, this is not widely understood. To understand how society
trivializes low self-esteem, we suggest you read Low
Self-Esteem Misunderstood and Misdiagnosed.
The Impact of Low Self-Esteem In an Individual's Personal Life
Low Self-Esteem is a contributing factor in most cases involving:
- eating disorders
- domestic, teen, and gang violence
- addictive behaviors
- relationship problems
- child abuse
- social anxiety disorders
- communication problems
- sexual dysfunction
- sexual promiscuity
- workaholism
Low Self-Esteem is a thinking disorder based on the
view the person has of himself as inadequate. Unless and until this basic view
of self is altered a person cannot change the negative thinking that controls
his reactions. This process is somewhat complicated and not a quick fix,
not something a person can change just because she wants to do so.
Once low self-esteem is formed, the fear and anxiety that
accompanies it affects everything a person does, says, and thinks.
Many who have low self esteem avoid seeking new jobs, initiating
relationships, or learning new skills for fear of rejection or failure.
Many avoid social settings and refrain from sharing their opinions for the
same reasons. Some isolate, become people pleasers, and remain passive.
Others get aggressive and cause havoc in their relationships. All people
with low self esteem sabotage their lives to some degree.
Some become underachievers, achieving far less than they
are capable of because they are paralyzed by fear. Others, driven to prove
to themselves and others that they are adequate and deserving, become overachievers,
probably becoming more successful than they would have if they didn't have
low self-esteem. These overachievers often become workaholics, sometimes
to the detriment of their families, creating relationship problems.
You can not necessarily tell that a person has low
self-esteem because many who have low self esteem become experts at hiding
their feelings and maintaining the appearance of control, even though
this is not what they feel on the inside. In fact, many very successful people in high level
careers actually suffer from low self-esteem, though only those close to
them are aware of they have low self esteem.
When people with low self esteem do something they perceive
as stupid or inappropriate, they instantly feel humiliated
and suffer from "self-esteem
attacks". At these moments they desperately want to run and hide, though
this is often not possible. They may plummet into depression
and devastation, episodes that may last minutes, hours, days,
or even weeks. Afterwards they feel even more embarrassed
to face the people who they think are aware of their problem.
The Impact of Low Self-Esteem In an Individual's Relationships
Relationships
are greatly affected by low self-esteem. Those
with low self-esteem tend to become either aggressive, passive, or passive-aggressive
when threatened. They become defensive and argumentative or they withdraw
and isolate, behaviors which do not contribute to healthy communication.
Additionally, those with low self-esteem tend to be confused about who
and when to trust and often make poor choices in partners. Intimacy becomes
difficult to achieve and maintain due to these and other factors.
Preventing Low Self-Esteem In Children
Low Self-Esteem can form in childhood as the result of:
- feeling abandoned, insignificant, or incompetent
- physical, verbal, sexual, or emotional abuse
- neglect of basic needs
- excessive criticism
- lack of support, encouragement, or affirmation
- serious personal illness.
Low self-esteem begins in childhood. The major contributors
to low self-esteem are parents, teachers, child-care workers, grandparents,
siblings, peers, and other relatives and authorities in the child's life.
Parents, however, have the best and most consistent opportunity to influence
the view a child has of himself.
Most parents try to be good parents. Unfortunately, however,
most parents rely on their own childhood, their intuition, and their own
sense of what works to determine how to treat their children; many simply
repeat the mistakes their own parents made.
For this very reason and due to many requests for guidance
in building healthy self-esteem in children, Dr. Sorensen
has written The
Handbook for Building Healthy Self-Esteem in Children. This book is
a resource that you will use again and again in considering
if you are doing the best you can to instill healthy self-esteem
in your child.
Please feel free to contact Dr. Sorensen with any questions concerning low self-esteem, her books, and her recovery program.
